Thread: I'm 19 and just found out...

I'm 19 and found out I'm a month pregnant. The father of my child is 32 years old. he keeps pushing at abortion. Everyday I wake up, I see a text of him telling me to book an appointment.

At first he said that he will be there, he was supportive of everything. Then, he told me that it will devastate his family. If I keep it, he doesn't know what he's going to do. He started calling the baby a mistake and everything. He told me that it would be cruel to bring a baby into the world now and I'm being selfish.

I'm 19 with no job and going to school. I just don't know if he's right. No one has faith in me. Do you think I can do this all on my own? I know I'll have to get a job and everything, but I'm still scared. I don't want to give up this baby, but I may have to, right?

This is just way too much for me. Also, the father sent me threatening text messages and still does, but when it's in person he's good to me. He holds me and kisses me, has me spend the night, but friends say he just does it to get in my pants and that I really should get away from him because the threats over texts are serious and it makes him capable of doing it.

wow, you think he would be happy i am 20 and am having my 2nd child i was 19 when i had my first daughter, she is now only 10 mons old and we will be having our 2nd may 8th .i did not have a job when i got pregnet with my first child and he was only one working , it will be ruff at first but i have faith in anyone they can do it as long as they try . as for him he needs to man up and see he is going to be a dad and you wanna keep it and help out with it .

There is not much you can do to change the fathers mind or feelings. What you need to think about is if you want to be a mother. Have you spoken to your Mother?

Hi Erica,
It's obvious he does not want the child and is being selfish because it will "devastate his family", but honestly if you want to be a mother you can choose to be, and it is sad this man does not want anything to do with the child, but ultimately it is yours. I would talk to your family about it and make the decision with them because you will be dependent on their help and support. Keep us posted.

The threatening texts are a serious concern - and you do not have to put up with that sort of abuse and harassment.

Have you checked around your area for organizations, churches, civic or state agencies who help single moms with prenatal care, daycare and other ways of support, help and guidance? There are people out there who are there to help you. You are not alone.

3MM

You're right, there are a lot of state and local resources your can look to for support as well. I hope to hear from you, and I hope everything is going well with your pregnancy.

Hi ericalee, I'm a single mother here too. I totally understand you but I just would like to enlighten you also. The baby is not a mistake, it is a sweet gift, a blessing from above. Having that baby aborted would be a mortal sin, and can you bear even just the thought of losing your own angel? When I got pregnant I was 21, last 2009. I just finished college and was reviewing for board exam that time. When I knew I was pregnant, it was only a week to our board exam and I wasn't even prepared for I wasn't feeling very well anymore due to those morning sickness and being so tired always. But you know what, having a strong faith to God and just believe in yourself and loving the baby would take you to places! Having that baby is surely a blessing and who knows he/she may be the door. The father of my baby abandoned me when I was still pregnant. He assured me he will be there for me but he didn't. Anyway not to make this longer, pray and have faith. Talk to your family. A family will always be with you through thick and thin. And always believe in yourself. You don't need a man to survive.

You know, pregnancy is a time when relationships might need to be nurtured, simply because of the emotional and physical changes that you are both going through and the new roles that you are thinking about. It is supposed to be one of the happiest moments in your life, and it just sucks that the father of your child does not want to have anything to do with your baby. I would not encourage you to get back to him, because clearly, he is an irresponsible man and I think you deserve more than him. The best thing you can do is to ask support from your family, like your parents and siblings. You can also get counselling, or even ask for forums such as this (and forums for mother-to-be like you) for support. Good luck!

First of all he's the one who's being selfish. There are a lot of resources for young mothers like WIC & baby your baby. I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant now I am 20 today & I am having my 1st baby in 3 weeks. I know what it's like to not know what to do. I don't have a job because I am too late in my pregnancy to be working but my fiance is the one who brings the income in. If you have family to support what you're going through that's always great. If he doesn't want anything to do with this baby then that's his loss. Just make sure he pays child support & if you feel scared for your life get a restraining order against him. I am positive you will be a wonderful mother to this child.

Hi darling:
Unfortunately proud mom believes that abortions are mortal sins......NO THEY ARE NOT!
Look sweeite, I don't want u to make the same mistake that most teenagers make. If u think that if u keep that baby, the baby daddy will marry u, or he will stay with u, ur dead wrong. He has made it clear how he does not want to be a daddy.
Yes, babies are cute, however, have u thought about how hard it is to raise one on ur own? That means u have to forget abiout school for now, find a daycre, get a full time job, forget about ur friends, have no social life....it is very very very hard, and u will struggle.
When I was 19 I had an abortion, I remember that when i went inside, I was crying becuz I did not want to 'kill' my baby. It took three doctors to convince me that when babies are aborted, they are so small and they are just a yolk in a sac. They feel zero and I mean ZERO pain. That got me through it. That was problably the best decision that I ever made in my life. Today, I am married and I am expecting a baby boy in June.
You have so see what is right for u. Remember that once u decide to keep this baby, that is it. There is nothing wrong with abortion. In fact I was very smart to not give a life to a baby when i knew that I could not provide for them, I loved my baby enough to not bring them into this world and struggle with them, and not be able to give them a good life. Your other option is adoption.....a lot of couples who cannot have childen can give ur baby a great life.....
However, get rid of ur bf, he is no good.